A Heavy Heart

I doubt that there are many, if any, people in our country who are unaware that tomorrow marks the tenth anniversary of the Al Qaeda terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.  While I was not personally affected by the attacks themselves, their aftereffects have defined my life and my career since that day.  I think it's pretty safe to say that, without the attacks, I probably would not be an Arabic speaker and a student of the Middle East.  It might be a bit more a stretch to say that without 9/11, I wouldn't have met and married my beautiful wife.  At the very least, she wouldn't have fallen in love with a Soldier deployed in far off Iraq.

For many years I had consciously avoided any movies or documentaries about 9/11.  I even avoided reading the retrospective stories in last month's issue of Runner's World.  I think that some of this reluctance stems from guilt.  I was overseas on 9/11, and even though I saw the towers when they fell, I wasn't watching as the second plane hit.  I also did not have the daily reminders of 9/11 around me, as those in America did.  The United States was half a world away, and while it registered as a tragedy, daily life in Korea returned to normalcy very quickly.  It was only later, after returning to the States, did I begin to understand the gravity and scope of this national tragedy.

So, this brings us to today: ten years after.  I felt that, in some small way, I needed to connect to 9/11 and feel some of the pain and sadness that I'd avoided for a decade.  In light of that, Susan and I chose United 93 as our pick for this week's movie night.  We both knew that it was going to be a heavy, emotional evening, and it lived up to our expectations.  Throughout the viewing we were both sobbing, unable to speak, clutching each other tightly.  When we finished, we held each other, prayed for the victims and their families, and ventured into a darkened bedroom to look at our daughter and whisper to her how very much we love her.